How to be a good quizmaster

A quizmaster who knows everything and reads slowly runs a worse night than one who knows nothing and keeps things moving. The room is not there to be impressed by you.

Everything below is a variation on the same idea: your job is to manage the energy in the room, and the questions are the material you do it with.

Read every question twice. Always, even when it seems obvious. The first read is for the half of the room that was not listening yet, and it costs four seconds.

Read slower than feels natural. In a room with background noise, what feels slow to you is normal to them. Numbers and names slower still, and spell out anything that could be misheard.

Do not editorialise between questions. "Ooh, this is a good one" and "you'll all get this" are habits that creep in and they cost you time on every question. Thirty small asides is fifteen minutes.

Give the answers straight after the round, not at the end of the night. People want to know, and they stop listening to round four if they are still wondering about round three.

The room tells you how it is going and the signals are not subtle once you know to look.

Volume during a round is the best one. A room conferring loudly is engaged; a quiet room is either stuck or bored, and those need opposite responses.

People at the bar during a round means the round is too long. People on their phones means the round is too hard, not that they are cheating. A table that knows the answer does not look anything up.

Somebody leaving at the break is the strongest signal you get. One is noise; three is the first half being too long.

Decide fast. A quizmaster who deliberates for two minutes in front of a room has already lost more than the point was worth.

If they are right, say so immediately, award the points to every team that gave that answer rather than only the table that complained, and say out loud that you got it wrong. Nobody minds a host who makes a mistake; they mind one who defends it.

If they are wrong, give the one-sentence reason and move on. Do not negotiate and do not take a second appeal on the same question.

If it is genuinely ambiguous, give the point to everyone. It costs nothing, it is over in five seconds, and the alternative is a conversation that runs all night.

The general principle: be generous with points and firm with time. Points are cheap and the room's attention is not.

It will happen. A round you thought was fine gets a room average of three out of ten and the mood drops.

Say it out loud. "That was harder than I meant it to be" costs you nothing and immediately puts you on the room's side instead of against it. Hosts who plough on pretending it went fine are the ones who lose a crowd.

Then change the next thing. Move a lighter round forward, cut a round if you have one spare, bring the break forward by ten minutes. The running order is yours and nobody in the room knows what it was supposed to be.

Learn the regular team names and use them. "Unlucky, Quizteama Aguilera" is worth more than any prize you can afford.

Read every team's name out in the results, from the bottom. Ninety seconds, and it is the bit people remember.

Never make a joke at a specific table's expense unless you know them well. The room laughs and the table does not come back.

Start on time. A quiz that starts twelve minutes late every week teaches people to arrive twelve minutes late, and then it starts twenty-five minutes late.

Finish on time. A host who overruns is taking a decision on behalf of people who have work in the morning.

A freelance host is selling reliability more than personality. The landlord is buying a night that happens the same way every week without him having to think about it.

Which means the unglamorous things are the product: turning up early, having a backup for everything, finishing when you said you would, and being able to show what the attendance has done over the last two months.